QUICK HANDS: Jack Delmo

QH: Jack Delmo, Prince of Portsea, Plugger, QH understands you’re a bit dirty that it’s taken until now for us to track you down, your thoughts?

After years of service I felt it was my time. Time for the people to hear from Plugger Delmo, a proud and passionate member of the mighty Ménage and long-time servant of the Old Xaverians football club. Although I may not go down as the most decorated player in the club’s history, I would like to think my services have been invaluable.

QH: On the Prince of Portsea, did you give yourself this nickname? If not, how did it come about?

The Prince of Portsea is a nickname that has been bestowed upon me by the people. My performances on and off the waters of Port Phillip Bay have been undeniable over the years.

I’d like to quickly note there are a couple of youngsters amongst the OXFC community who may think they are worthy of this title, specifically a long-haired fella who is frequently seen in black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a denim jacket. You’ve got a long way to go boys, don’t get ahead of yourselves.

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QH: Speaking of nicknames, where did you get Plugger?

Plugger is a nickname that was given to me by my father almost 18 years ago. As a rather plump and rotund junior footballer, a majority of my early footballing career was spent within a 20m radius of the goals and the canteen so it only seemed fitting that I would be Plugger. The nickname has come with its pressures and expectations over the years. Touted as Chopper’s successor in my first year at the club. I was quickly found out. 8 seasons on, Chopper's still dominating and I’m still battling for selection in the 3s.

QH: We have good mail that you compare yourself to Scott Pendlebury. Explain to the OXFC community why?

“Effortless!”, “He just looks like he’s moving so slowly through the pack.” are some of the things I’ve heard over my career, which is not too dissimilar to my beloved Scott Pendlebury. Looking back on it now, perhaps these weren’t meant in the same vein as the great man.

QH: If Matt Hannebery were to give you the call up for senior selection, bypassing the reserves, what is it that you can promise your 21 team mates when running out? What will they get from you?

Like any washed-up forward, I have been pushed into defence over the past couple of seasons in a desperate attempt to find some form. So, I suppose they would get a lock-down defender, who isn’t particularly fast, not known for good skills and who tends to ignore the back rotation in an attempt to get more game time. I would however provide terrific moral support for my teammates and a bit of flare in my trusted fluoro yellow boots.

QH: Moving away from footy for a moment, let’s go back and have a look at your younger days, to a night that’s since been labelled “Cry Night”. What is this, and what was your involvement?

Ahhh the infamous "Cry Night". Year 9 was a tough year for me. Tipping the scales at 100kg and with a serious lack of female attention, it all became a bit too much for me on one fateful evening. There was one particular blonde I fancied, who seemingly didn't share the same infatuation. After a couple of 440ml Woodstock bourbon and cokes, the tears started to flow. "Why doesn't she love me???" I bellowed, surprisingly doing myself no favours with the blonde in my sights. Although I was the first to shed tears that night, I certainly wasn't the last.  

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QH: QH understands that in recent years you’ve become less ‘commercial’ by nature, some labelling you a hippie or ‘indie’. How do you feel about such labels?

A recent trip to the sub-continent of India had a few of the fellas branding me with such labels. I'll put it down to an interest of what’s outside the bubble and a refusal to wear a scoop-neck t-shirt - Regularly seen on Cauley Beetham - VAFA's number one run-with player. 

QH: Hypothetically, if you were to get in a dust up at the Portsea Pub and emerge second best with an enormous lip to show for it. Would you take it in your stride or take your concerns to your father in a very destressed manner? Hypothetically speak of course….

Hypothetically....I'd be running straight to my father. 

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QH: QH is led to believe that the great John Delmo is an enthusiastic observer of your football games, never shy to offer highly audible advice. What is the most important piece of footballing advice he’s given you?

There is one piece of advice that resonates with me more than others. With a hot dog and dimmies in hand, tears rolling down my face after the usual post game spray for not going hard enough, I told John that “I just want to have fun and play with my friends". Disgusted, John replied, "You just want have fun? Go have a f***king kick in the park if you want to have fun!". I was only 11 at the time. 

Off-field John's a great role model for me, and I value any advice I receive from the great man.

QH: True or False, He’s seen at the footy in a Burberry fur coat watching you?

True. Usually accompanied by an Akubra and a pair of baby blue loafers. 

QH: Finally, Helloworld are one of our terrific partners, having just gotten back from a recent holiday, where to next?

I'm hoping to explore some options in potentially working overseas in the near future. I think London may be calling. A trip to Israel, Turkey and Greece could be on the cards beforehand, hopefully linking up with the VAFA's number one run-with player in Mykonos.